This is my new blog!

If your reading some of my amazing (work of art) writings in this blog... and if you are wondering how such golden masterpieces could go several weeks with out a single comment the answer is quite simple. I just created this blog two days ago and I've imported several posts from my old blog over to this one. Unfortunately I could not import the comments from the old blog to this one and it wouldn't be appropriate to ask each poster to come in to my new blog and re-post the same comments. See what I mean?

Let me explain why I created this (new blog) to begin with.

For several years I was involved in an adult business. I created and ran an adult site and occasionally shot (photographed) models for the web site. I didn't shoot hardcore just simple soft nude shots just as you see in playboy magazines. Well the site was owned by my friend and I did the html work and the nightly updates for it and we were in a partnership with the membership fees. The sites became fairly large but my friend found them to be a nuisance because even though they were becoming very successful, he made the majority of his income shooting content several days a week. He didn't have the time or the desire to mess with the sites any longer so he sold them.
You still with me?
When he sold the sites I lost a pretty good chunk of monthly change, no hard feelings though, business is business. Money is nothing amongst friends and that friend has given me more (even financially) then I could ever possibly give back. So I no longer work in the adult industry. I'm not currently shooting any models but I haven't totally ruled it out in the future.

My friend has recently made the announcement that he was leaving the adult business. I was totally shocked by his announcement. Truthfully, I thought it was a joke when he told me that he was out and that he was giving his life to god. ...TO GOD! Where did that come from?
In the adult business my friend has made millions and lived very well, at least financially. Now that he is out of the business I fear that the transition from that kind of money and working for one's self back to the (paycheck to paycheck) deal may be far more difficult then he predicted. You don't make that kind of money handing out bibles on the street corner. I know that he will make it because I've seen him pull objects the size of a semi truck out of a hat over and over again in the past several years. However, it's not going to be an easy ride for him.

I've always been an agnostic. I don't believe in heaven or hell and I don't believe in God or the Devil. I don't have a problem with peoples religion and I respect their beliefs. Well, now I'm searching for answers myself. I'm trying to figure out what it is that other people see or feel that makes them believe in God. I feel a bit left out to be quite honest, I'm a bit jealous. So I'm doing a little bit of open minded investigating.
I'm not trying to walk in my friends foot steps, I'm not trying to 'copy' him. I'm simply trying to see what he and several other friends from my past are seeing. If there is a God out there then I need to know. Donny must be seeing or feeling something in order for him to up and walk away from the very business that paid his bills. Large bills!

To sum it up...
Here are my two main reasons for creating this blog.
1. It contains no nudity and it is family, friend and children safe. (non-offensive)
2. I'm no longer involved in the adult business so I have nothing new to post in my old blog.

This blog is going to be all about me, family, friends and everyday life living in the country.

A quick note before I end this thread and basically the reason that I started this thread to begin with. I mentioned the above background on my and Donny's relationship both as friends and former partners in the adult industry because I want to take a moment to talk about him.
If I were someone that were to stumble on to his current blog and start reading I might think to myself "this guy is a nut case". You simply don't go from producing porn to surrendering to god, going to church and quoting bible scriptures in one month. He's a nut case.
First of all it wasn't a 1 month transition, this has been in the works for a long time, I just didn't believe that he was going to give it up.
I've had the privilege of Knowing Donny for a very long time. I can assure you that he is not a nut case and that he is 100% telling the truth in all of his writings. I read his blog every day and I have never seen him tell a lie. To be quite honest I've never seen him even stretch the truth for entertainment reasons as many people often do. If this guy were to write a book on his life it would be a 'top seller' because he has lived and done more things in 32 years then most people would ever have the pleasure to experience in a lifetime. With Donny as a friend there is never a dull moment.

You can read more about this guy by clicking here and reading his blog. I guarantee that you will enjoy it.

BUT FIRST you should click here and read a recap of his leaving the adult industry. Again I will certify that this is 100% no BS.
Enjoy your reading!

-John

What happened to John?

I know what your all thinking, my millions of faithful readers and fans.

You have been wondering... What happened to John? He hasn't posted in his blog for over a week! Did he win big in Reno and is he sitting on a beach in the Bahamas right now sipping on UM.. Budweiser?

Well I'm back, and now as you are reading this you are thinking to yourselves... How does he do that, is he a mind reader? My answer to that is Yep, I've got that ESPN thing going on.

I've been out for a week or two because my step father passed away. This may not sound very good but I'm going to say it because I'm not in to being a fake. Personally knowing that he is gone is a bit of a relief to me. It's a relief to know that he is no longer suffering as he had been for the past few years. It's hard to watch someone suffer and it's even harder when there is nothing that you can do to help. I'm glad that he is no longer in pain.
I'm left with a little guilt because I didn't visit with him nearly as much as I should have near the end but I'm trying to let go of that guilt because I feel that I had good reason for not doing so.
For one, it was too hard to see him in that condition and I also didn't want to have to go through this all over again since I went through it last year with my dad. Now that I put that in to words it sounds kind of selfish on my part. It was easier on me this time then it was last year when my dad passed away because we knew that this was coming for a long time, we had the time to say goodbye. Man that's tough, I loved im a lot. Still do!

Last year when my Dad passed away I had no warning at all. We were removing brush from his front yard that morning and I left to take my son home and go out to look at some property that we were buying. A short while later I was notified, it was a heart attack. I didn't get to say goodbye and there is a ton of guilt for not staying and finishing the job with him. So much guilt that I'm going to stop talking about it because it will just bring you (my millions and millions) of readers down.

It is easier on the person when they go suddenly and without warning like my dad went, however, it is far harder on the family because nobody gets to say goodbye. Here goes my selfishness again... I hope to go fast and unknowing, preferably in my sleep when the time comes. My kids will hopefully feel a strike but then move on with their lives.

Okay enough of the depressing talk...
My good luck streak is still on. I think it has a whole lot to do with how you look at life. If you look at life with your glass half full then things will seem to be going your way. I'm enjoying not paying so much attention to the negative things in life.

On a positive note:
I'm always trying to figure out ways of connecting with my son Brian. I think to myself... I could buy him and I a bow and arrow set and we could practice together on the property. Or perhaps I should buy us dirt bikes and we could ride together. I've even thought about buying him a gun (of course under controlled circumstances) and we could go to the shooting range together. Well It turned out easier and far less expensive then I thought. For the past few days we have been going through boxes in the shed cleaning it out so that we can put together a workshop. We both have really enjoyed doing this usually dreadful task. We have been talking and going through boxes of my tools and such. I'll pull out a strange tool and he will ask what it is and I will explain to him what that tool is used for. I'm enjoying this one on one time with him and I know that he is enjoying it also because I see how anxious he is to start sorting boxes as soon as he gets home from school.
I can't wait to get the welder hooked back up so that I can teach him to weld and cut.

Anyway.. It's 6:45 in the morning and I still haven't been to sleep yet and I have to work today so If I'm lucky I will get a few hours sleep and then I will head that way.

Night!

Lets go to Reno...

Lets go to Reno...
I'm ready!

My luck in the past week has been fantastic. Seems like someone up above is on my side. First off I won a Motorola Sliver L7 off of the wrapper of a snickers candy bar. Then I won a coin toss with a friend whom I never win to for some strange reason. Then I won $50.00 in a safety drawing. Tonight I took a trip to Redding and took a friend out to dinner and on my way back I decided to stop off at the Casino simply because it's just down the road and what else is there to do at 3:00 in the morning. Sure enough.. I left with more than twice what I brought with me. Lady luck is in my corner. I hope she follows me to reno next week.
Well I'm off to bed now… I'll bet I don't get lucky there :-)

We just got Raided!

We just got Raided!
Would I make this up?

Tonight at around 7:00 my kids came running in to the house saying the cops are here... I told them to stay in the house and I went outside just in time to see the entourage of law enforcement coming up my driveway. There were three unmarked cars and two or three marked ones as well. When they pulled to a stop I ran towards the driver and pointed my 357 at his head.... Just kidding... I walked towards the driver of the first car as he stepped out, they were all stepping out by this time. I gave a smile to indicate that I had no aggressive intentions and asked "what is going on?" The officer asked if xxxx was here. I said "xxxx who?" and he gave me the last name. By this time I felt a ton of relief come over me and I said "That name doesn't ring a bell with me" He said that he is supposed to live at xx12 xxxx avenue. I told him that I own this address and I also own that one too but there is no longer a residence on that address anymore. I then explained to him that we had bought this property over a year ago and we are the only ones living on it since that time. I gave him the name of the previous owners and their approximate location. By this time I recognized the officer that I was talking to.
I went to college for law enforcement and had planned on being in that line of work. Thank god I didn't because it is a stressful job and you only see the bag side of even people. Oh.. and it definitely doesn't pay well enough to make it worth it either.
Anyway once we both recognized whom each other was he believed me and they left my property.
As they were backing down my driveway I thought to myself... I may have made a few mistakes in life but I pretty proud of where I am today and I'm pretty proud of most of the choices that I have made. If I were to have followed in the footsteps of nearly 50% of my classmates then the story might not have ended with them backing back down my driveway.
We have a web site at our local jail that lets you view an actual photo of the current inmates and what they are being charged with, it's usually drugs. At any given time I find at least one of my classmates in jail and sometimes two or three. Over time I have seen nearly half of my class. I'm not supposed to do it, but I do screen caps of them when I see them and add it to my collection in a folder called classmates for my own personal amusement. Some of them get booked over and over again and you can see it in their mug shots that they are ageing twice as fast. It must be the drugs!
Blows me away!

Surprise package!

Surprise package!

Earlier this morning I was on the phone with a friend talking about working out, supplements and such when my wife decided she wanted to call her friend up and chat. Usually she just uses her cell phone but today it needed charged so she grabbed mine. Around 10 minutes later she came in to the room and told me how crappy my phone is, she said "remember how you said that your phone always cuts out and you can hardly hear?" Yes "Now I see what you were talking about, mine doesn't do that". I made some comment to her about that being my luck because we have the exact same model of phones and hers works way better then mine, I guess it's time for me to look in to getting another phone.

We have Cingular service so I figured I would take it in to the Cingular shop in Chico and look in to trading it in next time we are in the neighborhood. The wife leaves a couple hours later to go to the store and she calls me from the mailbox... "Your phone is here... Why didn't you tell me that you ordered yourself a phone?" Um... I didn't order any phone.... "Well it's here and it came in your name to your address, you didn't order it huh?" NOPE!
When she arrived home from the store she had a brand new Motorola SLVR L7 box in her hand.

What really blows me away is that it has "this is only compatible with Cingular service written on the side of the box" It is an open sim phone or something to that effect. Basically all I have to do is pull the sim card out of my old phone and slide it in this new phone and I'm off. No need to activate or call Cingular or anything. The first thing that came to mind was that my son ordered it but after a short talk and a few threats he still denied it. This phone is loaded with features. It is an expensive phone with camera, blue tooth, it even had itunes built in and it's an mp3 player with headphones.
I'm dyeing to figure out where this phone came from because I'm a child when it comes to gadgets and I felt like a kid waiting to open a Christmas present. I really wanted to fire up this phone and play with it's features. At this point I still have no sure idea as to where this thing came from.

I have three guesses...
1. My kid ordered it and is afraid to admit to it!
2. Someone somewhere got a little confused in the shipping department and sent it to me by mistake.
3. I won it from www.snickers.com

Don't laugh at number 3 because it is entirely possible. For some strange reason I opened up a snickers candy bar about a month ago and thought to myself "I bet nobody actually takes the time to log in and enter these codes; so if I do then I would stand a better then usual chance of winning something."
I just logged in to snickers.com and over the past month I have only entered about 9 codes and just to the right side of the entered codes is the prize that you stand a chance of winning. Guess what the very first code that I entered said... You guessed it! a Motorola SLVR.

Does this mean I won? I don't know for sure but with my luck, even though it appears that way at this point, I'm not holding my breath. I'll find out tomorrow and post the outcome here. If I did win this thing it would be a first. I'll keep you posted!

UPDATE:
Holy Crap.... I WON! :-)

I contacted the shipper by phone a few minutes ago and he first asked me how I got his number because I googled it. After I told him and asked him if he knew why I received the phone in the mail he replied... "Yes I do, were a shipping company and you won that phone from snickers.com" Maybe my luck is turning around. '-)

Why are we here?

Why are we here?

It's 4:00 in the morning and yet again the midst of another sleepless night. Life is such a roller coaster... It's a fun ride, but it's full of ups and downs. Right now i'm going through a loop, one of confusion. Some of my family and friends from the past are no longer alive; Where did they go? My life is slowly approaching the half way point and I'm still not sure what I'm here for.
I'm not looking for sympathy, in fact I'm a very happy person... I'm just looking for answers.
Is there a God?
I'm too much of a logical thinker to believe in God. It simply doesn't make since to me. Science makes since because it is full of logical proven explanations. The bible, the stories, I see no logic in any of that. Some people are willing to just accept it but I can't. I cannot believe in something that I can't see, can't feel, can't smell, touch... I just can't. My dad was a very strong believer in god, he preyed for me every day and night. He tried hard not to push his religion on me but he wanted to "save" me so bad until the day that he passed away, he tried hard.
I have to ask.. If there is a god then why would he let little children die of cancer? Why did an entire family "three generations" get killed in a van on the freeway a while back just because someone was in a hurry to pass? Somebody explain this to me please!
Another thing... If God is perfect then why did he create us imperfect? If he created us perfect then we wouldn't sin.. It's a fact that we were created imperfect. Were we setup for failure from the big man himself?

Say I write a computer program to randomly pick a number either 1 or 2. Then it will pick one of those two numbers every time guaranteed! So I'm happy when it picks number 1 but I'm mad when it picks number 2.
When it picks number 2 I will take a large hammer and smack it on the keyboard. Sounds kinda dumb doesn't it... Why? Because I wrote the program. We as people can randomly pick more then a simple 1 or 2. But we still can only pick with in the list of limitations "programming" that was created in to us .

My questions could go on forever... If you blame all the bad things in this world on the Devil then I will ask.. Didn't god create the devil? And then kicked him out of heaven? Well if the devil was so bad that god didn't want the devil up there with him then why would he allow the Devil to roam around down here causing harm to us? (his precious kids).

Here's another one.. Believe me I'd love to hear the answer to this riddle!
God says that if you don't believe in him and follow him then you will burn in hell for eternity (eternity) because he told you to believe in him. Okay... If you tell your child to do something and he chooses not to do it will you spank him for it, not once, but repeatedly every day for eternity? Were all gods children right? Even the naughty ones! To me eternity sounds like a bit of an over punishment for the wrong doing that may be done during our extremely short time on earth.

I remember when I was a kid hearing a story about how we humans were trying to build a tower to heaven and God got bent out of shape about it and punished us all by spreading us out and giving us different languages or something... Perhaps that's what happened to the twin towers.. Okay that wasn't very funny!
"Lord I apologize for that twin towers comment and be with the...." -Larry The Cable Guy C2004

On several occasions I wanted to fake it just to make my Father happy, but then I got to thinking... What if there really is a God? ...and what if I fake it until the day that I die then I would go to hell right?
That sure doesn't seem fair. If there really is a god then wouldn't it only be fair for him (or her) to let everybody know that he/she does in fact exist? Then people could either serve or say to hell with it. (No pun intended!)

Let me repeat some of the answers that I've got so far from "religious people"...

"you just have to believe" How can I believe in something that I do not know exists? I can pretend if that helps?

"you have to study the bible to believe" What bible? Which one? What religion? There are over 2500 religions out there and each of them believe that they are the right one. To me, this means that even if one of them were the right one my odds are 1 in 2500 of picking it! 1 in 2500 of a chance of having eternal life! Those aren't very good odds!

"your closed minded" I'm not trying to be, I really want to believe in God but for crying out loud God if your out there then show yourself!

"you have to search for God, prey and ask him.." Seriously now, do you think I haven't tried that?

Another funny thing that I noticed about religion... Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that if there was truth at one time then it wasn't preserved very well. Seems to me like 2500 different people must have looked at it and said to themselves "I like that, but this doesn't fit my needs" so they simply edited everything to fit their lifestyle and called it a new religion. How convenient! Then they recruit followers. I believe that this has happened about um... 2500 times.
And here's where it gets really confusing... It breaks down even farther... Still with me?
Check this out....
Now when followers chose the religion that fits their needs then they filter it some more by following some parts of the particular religion and ignoring other parts. It's a pick and choose kind of thing. You know like they will live together unwed and have sex but they'll um.... they will stop using foul language and um.. no more looking at dirty pictures.

I may offend some of you by what I'm about to say but it's my blog so if you don't like it then stop reading it.
Until recently I believed that religion was a crutch for the weak minded, not making fun of the weak minded but you can tell weak minded people anything and the will likely believe it. Specially if they are raised to believe it because their parents raised them too. To me, that is programming!
Well I do not believe that theory anymore. I'm having friends that I feel are equal to or perhaps more intelligent then myself turning to this so called "God" possibility. In a way this gives me hope because I think that if they are as logical and intelligent as I am and they believe... then they must be seeing something that I don't see and this makes me want to try harder to figure out what it is that they are seeing. So when friends turn to god (the ones that don't turn their back on me) it gives me hope that they might say or show me something that makes perfect logical since and that, in turn, may help me believe. So far it hasn't happened and I refuse to be programmed in to religion but I try to stay open minded also.

Your probably asking yourself why in the hell is John talking about god? It's simple; I've just realized that yet another friend, a best friend has now turned to this so called God. This friend of mine made more money in a month then I make in a year, and my kids aren't missing meals if you understand, he has all the toys too. But this friend is "was" in the adult industry; he shot photography for many of the big boys like playboy. He was in a business that I see nothing wrong with because I'm not religious and I feel that there is no shame in nudity or the production of such content. We were put on this earth naked were we not? Honestly I have no idea (lol)
My friend just walked away from all that money and is in the midst of a total change of life. I simply do not understand it no matter how many times he tries to explain it. I guess I'll just have to keep picking his brain.

One more thing before I end this boring entry... It just occurred to me that I may be writing this out of pure greed (lol) People around me are eating candy, it looks good and I don't know where they are getting it.. It's just not fair... Know what I mean?

S- -t Happens!

S--t Happens!

I cannot help but to notice that sometimes things happen that simply could not possibly be based on odds or randomness. Do you ever feel like there is a force working against you from time to time? As if it just wasn't meant to be?

Well I often feel that way. Let me give you an example... There are two sides to a coin thus meaning that when you flip a coin your odds should be 50/50 one would think! Two weeks ago at work a friend and I flipped a coin to see which one of us was going to do the dirty deed.

What the dirty deed was is totally unimportant. Anyway, I lost the coin flip 9 times out of 12 flips. Believe me it was fully inspected and it was not a trick coin. I also flipped it several times myself so it wasn't the way that it was tossed in to the air either. It was just meant to be! Now you all see what force that I'm referring to? Well shortly after I discovered another similar situation. So I decided to blog about it and make it public.

There is some hidden invisible force that doesn't want me to fish. Sounds funny huh?
Let me explain...
Three years ago I bought a fishing license here in California. 34 bucks but hey I also had to pick up a couple fishing poles. Total cost for the trip including gas, bait, and beer... 130.00 Now I went with some friends and drank quite a few beers and not only did I catch no fish, but I managed to lose a pole. I think I left it up in the mountains next to that secret spot that even the fish don't know about. But wait, it gets better... Some how on the way back home the other brand new pole got broke in half. "Oh well, Shit happens" I thought to myself.

The following year My kids bought me a fishing license for a fathers day present, a very thought out give I might add because this will drag me away from my computer and I will spend some family time as I admittedly need and want to do. So I went out and bought a couple more new fishing poles..... Good ones like last time. Only problem is that I didn't use that license that year and it expired on me. More money down the tubes!

Yep you guessed it... Three weeks ago I went and bought two more licenses. I'm not going to let this curse get me down. Well after a little planning the wife and I both had the day work free at the same time even, we woke up at 4:00 in the morning and got the kids up, packed everything in the truck and off to the store we go. Sure enough, I spent even more money on bait, beer, gas and so on to get to a place called lake grace and lake nora. Grace and Nora are two small private lakes side by side near Shingletown California, these lakes are stalked with trout. I figured the kids would reel them in left and right. Took two hours to get there but hey. It's a day of fun and fishing right?

Wrong!

After spending a couple hundred more and a two hour drive, oh and after unpacking everything from the truck we discovered that we were missing a bag. It could very well have been the bag of fruit that we brought along to snack on but instead it was our bait, tackle, and everything that we need to catch a freaking fish. Turns out the bagger at the Anderson California Super Center didn't put that particular bag in the cart. I was so pissed off that instead of making the best of it I told the kids to load everything back up and I drove home (another two hour drive). By this time I'm out several hundred dollars at least plus 4 hours of driving and not a single fish!!! Well I don't know how strong this force is but I was determined to find out. We shall wake up again in the morning at around 4:00am and drive all the way back to that place and I plan to bring a fish home tomorrow if I have to stop off at safeway and buy it!

QUICK update!!!

We loaded up and went back the next morning catching 6 trout about a foot long, brought them home and they ended up getting buried because we were tired and didn't feel like cleaning and cooking them. Ummm.. S--T Happens!